I don't want to be the karma police

I don't want to be the Karma Police; (great song, thanks Radiohead) I've decided I'd rather be the Schadenfreude Sheriff. (This is the crap that I think about on my morning commute. I'm not crazy, I swear!) So, Schadenfreude. That's the act of taking pleasure in other people's misfortune. It's a German word (how very German of them, thanks Ave. Q!). So I'd rather be the Schadenfreude Sheriff, the seem to be more up my alley. I picture the karma police as kindly, gentler, police men that bring teddy bears to children. They gently dole out fair and just rewards/punishments. The Schadenfreude Sheriffs are the Texas Rangers of justice. Their punishments are swift and mighty. Oh, you want to be a dead beat dad and screw over your kid? BOOM! Your ex just got hired at the Child Support Office. Want to ride someones ass all down IH-10 when there is no where to move over? SHAZAM! When you pass them going 100 there's a cop. What? It's a construction zone? Enjoy that $700 ticket.

Yep. I could definitely be the Schadenfreude Sheriff. Where do I sign?