I've gained weight and am no longer comfortable with my body image. I'm also lazy and hate exercising and eating right, so yeah. Typical American. What can I say? I don't like vegetables. Pasta is life. Yeah well pasta is also my waist line now- and it's not even al dente. So before I start my new "lifestyle change" next week I'll make due with a few fashion tips I've learned.
Tip one. Want to look skinnier? Big ass earrings. That's right, if they're bigger than a quarter, you look five pounds lighter. Boom.
Tip two. A higher heel. Even an inch or two will lengthen the legs and give you a taller, leaner look.
Tip three. Contour those cheek bones. Nothing says 'I'm not fat' than lovely cheek bones. So use a contour pallet and brush a darker color in the hollows of your checks. Highlight right above the cheek bones, and blush your apples. Boom. Instant skinny.
I'm doing all three of these today. My earrings are like a foot long. Ha!
Oh! Bonus tip! A big ass purse. The bigger the purse the smaller you look, see also the Olsen Twins.
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