Movie Review MORTAL KOMBAT

 I expected lameness.  Yes, yes I did. Let's just face it, movies based on video games are lame. No, The Witcher does not count, it was a book series first. Go read it. It predates Game of Thrones and so so good. Back to my point, movies based on video games are lame. Street Fighter was a complete disaster. Mario Brothers?  Lame.  The first MORTAL Kombat Movies? SUPER LAME. Resident Evil? Lame lame lame lame.  The most recent exception to this rule is Sonic, but had the fans not complained about creepy animated Sonic it would have been doomed to lameness for all eternity. 

THIS MOVIE COULD BE CONSIDERED SENSITIVE FOR SOME CHILDREN. 

***** SPOILERS AHEAD******

YOURE READING AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Now, new MORTAL KOMBAT movie. I fully expected lameness. What I did not expect was a fun story line, gruesome fatalities, and gratuitous violence. It was 100% amazing and I am here for it. The best part if this was that this movie did not take itself too seriously. It know it was a video game movie, and it embraced it. It was FUN.  I throughly enjoyed Lou Kang riding Harpy Chick like a surfboard into his saw hat. 

Kano is a complete asshole and I loved him. The more of a complete dick he was the happier it made me. He really was one of my favorites. Seeing Kabal in action was amazing. Goro was well done and I didn't feel like I was watching ridiculous CGI. 

In addition the use of the OG MORTAL KOMBAT theme was the chef's kiss. 

I really hope there is a sequel. 

***** END SPOILERS******

Why could MORTAL KOMBAT be sensitive for some Children? 

Gratuitous violence and Vulgarity. The F bomb is thrown around like glitter at a craft fair. Blood, gore, and entrails. There was absolutely no romance in this movie. I mean my kids watched it- I don't censor. Come at me. 

Now, this whole HBO MAX is amazing. I love love love being able to watch movie in the comfort of my own home and eat snacks in my comfy chair. I may never go to the movies again.  

I would 100% watch this movie again. 

10/10. 

What in tarnation?

Why are kids so weird? Look at this  just look at it. Who sleeps like this? How is it even possible? I don't even understand.

Book review: Drawn to the Marquess by Bronwen Evans

I love love love Regency Romance.  Go ahead, judge me, I don't care.  These books are light hearted and hella fun. I'm a sucker for the Ton and a happy ending. Bonus points if Beau Brummel is mentioned. Extra extra points if they have to get approval to Waltz.

This book, Drawn to the Marquess, is a little misleading. It is a historical, and made a passing mention of the ton.  The heroine was ostracized by society and is reclusive.  She ropes the handsome Marquess into helping her prove her innocence in the death of her husband, who we learn is just the absolute worst.  Most of the book takes place in the country away from the ton. She wasn't so much drawn to the marquess as she was trying to trick him into working for him. I'm not so sure the title fits.  The story itself started out pretty slow, then picked up speed.  I'd rate it 4 out of 5.  I was entertained, but would not read again. 

I’m a Nelson Ratings person!

Oh I’m so excited. They’re sending me a journal and everything. Only problem is- in the worst tv watcher ever. Every show I’ve loved has gotten cancelled

Selfie- modern day My Fair Lady! What’s not to love???

Dallas- come on, the Dallas reboot was so awesome. And John Ross was sooooo hot. Did you notice his eyes were 2 different colors? Rwar!

Telenovella- This was cute! About a soap opera star that couldn’t speak Spanish. Loved it.

GCB- based off a book that wasn’t all that great, it was cute- and ended on a cliff hanger. Whyyyyyyy? And the cliff hanger wasn’t in the book!!!!!

So there. That’s the last few shows I loved. I watched Gossip Girl from episode one till way after the writers lost interest. I gave up on Revenge. I give up on a lot of shows... (sorry Jamie) 

Hopefully there is some decent tv for me to journal. Rick and Morty FTW! 

Let’s talk AHS Cult

I hate clowns. Needless to say, I haven’t been a fan of this season so far. Well last night’s show finally redeemed itself. Let’s chat! If you haven’t seen season 3 of American Horror Story: Cult and want it to remain a surprise stop reading now. Move on, watch a make up tutorial or something, nothing to see here. This is not the blog post you are looking for. Meanwhile....

Spoilers ahead

Theories ahead

All clear?

Ok good.  So the opening sequence with the lady and her husband conquering her fear; only to be killed by the clown possee the same way? Ooooooooo! Ok so the doctor has to be in on it. He has to exploit people by their fears. Does he murder them when they are cured? Conquer your fear and get murdered? A friend (thanks Jonathan!) pointed out that the doctor had smiley face buttons in his office. Everything is a clue in AHS. 

And wow when Kai slapped Meadow! Yasssss! I wanted to slap her too for that stupid statement. So obviously they’re part of the cult.  And hot cop and neighbor dude are obviously a thing. So how did Oz get the video of Ally and Winter? I can’t believe Ivy slapped her! A lot of hitting going on in this episode. 

So both Ally and crazy neighbors have the smiley face Target on their house somewhere. However, the neighbors are part of the Kai cult. Now is the Kai Cult the same as the Doctor Cult? Is this like west side story AHS version? They’ve burst into song on previous seasons, so it would not surprise me. 

Lets talk names. Ivy, Winter, Meadow. Even Kai means Ocean in Hawaiian. And the doctor- Dr Rudy? Rudy means famed Wolf. A wolf in docs clothing maybe. Hmmmmmmm. I see on IMDB we will be getting a character named Serenity. Cult member? Probably. 

Who is the mastermind behind the cult? Who is the leader? I think we have just scratched the surface.  Can’t wait for next week!!!!!

Book Review: The Selection by Kiera Cass

This is a young adult novel. I had heard good things, and decided to give it a go. This book is set in a future where the United States no longer exist. North America is now Illena and is ruled by a monarchy. The prince needs to find a wife, so they have a selection. Kind of a Hunger Games/Lottery type, but with catty bitches instead of people trying to kill each other. The story follows a Selection hopefully called America. She is in a lower caste (apparently they've gone to a caste system now) and she is selected in the bridal pool. 

I could not put this book down. It wasn't all romance, it's about adjusting and coming to terms with heartbreak, and some suspicious activity. Why did the reporter have a weird star shaped broach? What are the rebels looking for? 

I really enjoyed this book, and I'm about to start on the next in the series, The Elite. 

Find it here: The Selection https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062059947/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_jiFVzb981J12J

Rating 10/10 would read again. 

I hate mornings too.

Devil baby hates to wake up. He's going to be one of those kids. I can see it now, the copious amounts of ice water I am going to have to throw on him, the yelling, the pleading, and the late days to work.  Without further ado, here's the foreshadowing.
https://youtu.be/OM05RFlkjhs

Hurricane Harvey Fund

I don't know if you know, but my area was impacted by Hurricane Harvey. We were very fortunate, however, many of my Co-Workers and Friends were not. My employer has set up a GoFund Me for those associates who have lost everything. Link is below. If you can and want to help, please do so. You can even be anonymous!  The link is below. 

gf.me/u/ctuw4y

They have really done so much for us, the support has been overwhelming. From arranging RVs for people to live, to arranging a truck for food. They also help gut homes. Thank you so much!!!

Supplies!

Make up tutorial! My first!

I know I previously wrote a post about Tarte- Swamp Queen Pallet. Refresher here. http://thecarec.blogspot.com/2017/04/tarte-swamp-girl-pallette.html  Well I actually did a make up tutorial for this pallet. Link is below!!

https://youtu.be/ggx7bhMOx5Q

Kids are assholes.

There, I said it. Kids are assholes. It just gets worse, they don't sleep as babies, terrible twos, homework fights, puberty, teenage angst, and then the years you spend being a complete moron while they know everything. Kids are assholes. With every eyeroll and buuutttt moooooom, I think "asshole kids". It's become my mantra. Lately, Devil Baby, had been shhhhhhhing me every time I tell him something he doesn't want to do. I guess he thinks it's going to work. Maybe I'll try it out and see. The hubs wants me to make him a sammich? Shhhhhhhhh ha!! Now I love the little assholes, all four of them. They're a lot of fun, when they're not plotting against me or locking themselves in their rooms for whatever reason. Oh the angst!

https://youtu.be/_WvZUEATYa8

Teenagers at the dentist.

Ok- I never understood the whole "Kids high on gas at the dentist" till I witnessed Dade throwing an imaginary throwing star at me. I was pretty entertained. I also enjoyed an entire conversation about clowns and their funny shows. Sadly I didn't film all of it. But enjoy this 30 seconds of imaginary throwing stars.
https://youtu.be/OjBSsRGDhH8

Ok- so I made a Disney tactical error- or 5.

I haven't really written much lately. I have been meaning to write this post for some time, but I haven't really had the heart. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Disney with the family, and it was important for us to be all together. I just, well, didn't have as much fun as expected.  Why you ask? And if you didn't, I'm writing anyway, so who cares?

1. Over planning. I am a self professed control freak. I love to be bossy. This time it bit me in the ass. I had too much planned for too many people. I didn't leave enough wiggle room, so when things went wrong it threw everything off. 

2. Park Hopper. When we originally planned, the decision was to all stay together. Well, that's great, till we all discovered we had a lot of different interests. The boys all wanted to hang out in Star Wars land, and the girls wanted to enjoy Epcot. If we had a park hopper, we could have easily split the group up and met up later; this was we all had to stay together. Animal Kingdom was not a hit. 

3. Sickness and Health. We all got hit with a Nuro virus. Puking, pooping, the worst. Next time I'm going to either call ahead and request a deep clean, take airborne or emergen-c, or Lysol the hell out of the room. Hell, maybe I'll do all 3. With the sickness we missed out on a loooooot. 

4. Alternate plans. Next time I go with a large group, I'm going to make sure everyone has a copy of the itinerary and the Disney Experience App. When I was sick, there was no on leading the group and it fell apart. Have a second in command! 

5. Rest Day, Rest Day, Rest Day. I wish I would have planned a day of nonsense where we could just rest by the pool or shop. It was too much, and we needed rest. The kids really wanted to spend more time in the pool, I don't really feel they enjoyed the parks as much. 

All in all, it was a good trip, with a few hiccups. Next time, it will be better! The matching shirts were a hit!!!

Pooprints...

Potty training is Super fun. So today, Devil Baby decided to take his diaper off and poop on the floor. Then he stepped in it. Worst ever!

Texts with sister...

We love each other I swear...

Hooked on a new book series

So I haven't been writing as much as I shout because I am just ate up with this new book series.  That's how they get you, they write such enjoyable books that you just can't get enough.  I bought this book on a whim, and it sat in my kindle library for a month or so. I picked it up the beginning of June. Now I'm on book 6 of the series and read 2 books of the adjoining series. I. Cannot. Put. Them. Down!

So- here we go. They're the Dowser series, it follows Jade a half witch as she tries to find herself, run a bakery, and deal with family issues.  Y'all enjoy!  Adjacent to the series is the Oracle series that includes characters from the Dowser series. Oh and if you join her fan page you can download a cupcake cook book for free. I cannot wait to try some of these recipes. 

Who is this mysterious author? Meghan Ciana Doige 

Book: Cupcakes, Trinkets, and Other Deadly Magic

Buy it here- the first book kindle version is free! They're addictive so get ready!  If you read these, tell me how you liked them!

 Cupcakes, Trinkets, and Other Deadly Magic (The Dowser Series) (Volume 1) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1927850002/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Kh9szb3B9KCZB

Or

Cupcakes, Trinkets, and Other Deadly Magic (Dowser Series Book 1) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DH5WVV6/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_9EatzbEGZXRTC

I am writing this book review as a warning to others.

Godmother  By: Carolyn Turgeon

So this book was super misleading. Here is the amazon description. 

"Description

Product Description

A new take on Cinderella, told from the perspective of the fairy godmother living in modern-day Manhattan 

Lil is an old woman who spends her days shelving rare books in a tiny Manhattan bookstore and lonely nights at home in her apartment. But Lil has an intriguing secret. Tucked and bound behind her back are white feathery wings--the only key to who she once was: the fairy godmother responsible for getting Cinderella to the ball to unite with her Prince Charming.

But on that fateful night, something went terribly and beautifully wrong. Lil allowed herself the unthinkable: to feel the emotions of human beings and fall in love with the prince herself, going to the ball in place of Cinderella in her exquisitely gorgeous human guise. For her unforgivable mistake, she was banished to live among humans, far from her fairy sisters and their magical underwater world. But then one day she meets Veronica--a young, fair-skinned, flame-haired East Village beauty with a love of all things vintage and a penchant for falling in love with the wrong men--and suddenly it becomes clear to Lil that she’s been given a chance at redemption. If she can find a soul mate for Veronica, she may be able to right her wrong and return to the fairy world she so deeply longs for."

You know what I got? Was it a light hearted read about Cinderella from the Godmothers perspective? No! I got a depressing ass book that included an old lady masterbation scene (go on, Lil, you do you) and suicide. Is she a godmother? Or is she just a crazy old broad who cannot get over her sisters trauma? Who the hell knows? I know that I want that 2 hours of my life back. Shit- it was like that damn movie Atonement where at the end you find out everyone is just dead and it was all a damn lie. F you godmother. F you. 

0/10

Save yourselves. 

I feel fat cue the accessories!!

I've gained weight and am no longer comfortable with my body image. I'm also lazy and hate exercising and eating right, so yeah. Typical American. What can I say? I don't like vegetables. Pasta is life. Yeah well pasta is also my waist line now- and it's not even al dente.  So before I start my new "lifestyle change" next week I'll make due with a few fashion tips I've learned. 

Tip one. Want to look skinnier? Big ass earrings. That's right, if they're bigger than a quarter, you look five pounds lighter. Boom. 

Tip two. A higher heel. Even an inch or two will lengthen the legs and give you a taller, leaner look. 

Tip three. Contour those cheek bones. Nothing says 'I'm not fat' than lovely cheek bones. So use a contour pallet and brush a darker color in the hollows of your checks. Highlight right above the cheek bones, and blush your apples. Boom. Instant skinny. 

I'm doing all three of these today. My earrings are like a foot long. Ha!

Oh! Bonus tip! A big ass purse. The bigger the purse the smaller you look, see also the Olsen Twins. 

I saw this and also thought it was an icecream sandwich. I need help- and a dietitian. 

Book Review: Big Little Lies

I just finished reading Big Little Lies written by Liane Moriatry. 

First; I loved all these characters. They were so real. 

Second; this was a glacier book. Seemingly superficial, but with unsuspecting depth. 

Third; I cried. 

Rating: 13/10 would read again. 

I cannot go into any more about this book, because I felt like it was kind of a surprise. I didn't expected to go the way it did and I don't want to ruin it for anyone. I did not watch the show, so I can't compare it. I did love the book and would recommend to anyone. 

Good Morning, friends!

I'm sorry, I've been busy reading. I started a book club, and joined 2 others so I've been a little preoccupied. Currently, I'm almost finished with Big Little Lies. I suggest you pick it up if you haven't already. The women are so Real, with real problems. They're totally relatable. 

Now, to switch topics (ADD what what!) I wanted to leave you with a little fashion tidbit. A necklace always completes your look. You could put no effort into your look, throw in a necklace and BAM! Fabulous!!  Try it- it works. 

Stay fabulous, friends!!!!

Face timing with Sister

Yes. This is what we do. 

And this: